It’s that time of the month.
Period.
It’s that time of the month when we reevaluate every decision, thought, and action we’ve had.
Sounds rational? Yeah, not all the time.
I guess it depends on how you’re doing in your so-called “healing journey.” Are you reevaluating because you genuinely want to do better, or is it simply because you can’t stop replaying the same events in your head over and over and over again?
Don’t beat yourself up too much over it. If it’s not a sign of intelligence, it’s definitely, at the very least, a sign of anxiety and some underrated self-awareness.
We humans have a tendency to make sense of what happens to us and around us. So constantly dwelling on every little detail isn’t exactly outside of our nature. But we’re also taught to suppress it sometimes. We can’t possibly stop at every little detail and analyze it. It’ll drive you fucking nuts!
But here’s the thing. Your brain doesn’t just “ignore” what happens.
It might help you redirect your focus to something else momentarily, but oh, you’re definitely going to be reminded later about what your wife said over dinner the other night.
And now your brain has questions.
What did she mean by that? Does it require an action? A gift, maybe? Did I do something wrong? Or was it simply a few words your wife didn’t really think through before saying them?
And just like that, you’re back at it.
So how do we acknowledge where we go wrong in that process?
Is it when we begin inviting our own insecurities and fears of being judged into the conversation? Or is it when we start bringing up previous experiences that aren’t necessarily related to what happened, but somehow our brain has convinced us that they are?
I mean, hey, your brain is only trying to do right by you.
Even if it ends up increasing your anxiety, it’s trying to protect you from whatever it thinks you need protection from. Sometimes that means connecting dots that don’t necessarily belong together.
And that’s where I think things get complicated.
Because there’s a difference between reflecting on something to understand it and repeatedly thinking about it because you can’t seem to let it go.
One can help you grow. The other can leave you questioning things you were perfectly fine with five minutes ago.
But do we dare to admit that sometimes the words we hear, and even the ones we say, aren’t always a true representation of what’s really going on inside our heads?
Or that sometimes we’re simply incapable of expressing what we actually mean because we’re too worried that the person standing in front of us might misunderstand what we’re trying to say?
How many misunderstandings happen because someone didn’t choose the right words? And how many happen because the person listening interpreted those words through their own fears, insecurities, or previous experiences?
Maybe not everything needs a deeper meaning.
Maybe sometimes people say things they don’t mean. Maybe we do too.
And maybe, just maybe, not every uncomfortable interaction deserves hours of our mental energy.
I do think breaking down our thought processes and analyzing them is crucial. At least once a month.
But perhaps the real challenge isn’t learning how to analyze every thought that crosses our minds. Perhaps it’s learning which thoughts deserve our attention and which ones we should simply allow to pass.
Because being self-aware doesn’t necessarily mean we have to question ourselves into exhaustion.
And healing shouldn’t feel like putting yourself on trial every time you remember something you wish you’d handled differently.
So maybe a glass of wine, a chocolate bar, and a journal could be the best cure for an overanalyzer.
Or maybe we just need to learn when to tell our brains to shut the fuck up.
At least until next month.
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